I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
