so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
