Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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