You can't motorboat a personality
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
