Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
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I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.