it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here