I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize