If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My ass is underappreciated
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize