the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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