You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
