just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
