dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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