you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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