1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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