my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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