Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
