one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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