Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
