Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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