remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
