he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
