u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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