So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
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is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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