It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish you could order shots online.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours