Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.