I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?