yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
