I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
