So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
