after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
