so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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