See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my being single is dangerous.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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