so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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