my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize