watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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