24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize