): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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