Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
