There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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