Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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