I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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