So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sorry my hands just texted you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
