I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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