i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.