Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties