What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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