just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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