i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
