And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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