She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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