Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You pole danced in your parka.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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