this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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