Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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