I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize